25-year-old woman quits giving chronically late coworker rides to work after they both get written up for tardiness: "She started treating it like a service"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
May 28, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

For a really long time, I had an issue with being late to things. I breezed through most of my life showing up to all sorts of events anywhere from thirty minutes to two hours after the scheduled time. In college, a friend told me that they got into the habit of telling me the wrong time for hang outs – about an hour before – just so I'd arrive at the same time as everyone else. It really shook me to my core with embarassment that they had to go out of their way like that, and I started making more of an effort to get to places on time.

In our story today, our protagonist has to deal with her own chronically late friend. However, this friend isn't just late to hang outs and parties – she's late to work. And since out protagonist is the one giving her rides, she is also clocking in after she should be – so much so that they both get reprimanded for tardiness. 

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my friend I won't drive her to work anymore after she kept making us late?

    Cheezburger Image 10510160128
    via SolisImages

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (25F) have been giving my friend "Lena" (27F) a ride to work for the past 3 months. We live a few blocks apart, work at the same place (different departments), and start at the same time, so it made sense at first.
    via u/WildflowerWish71
  • 03
    At the beginning, everything was fine. But over the past month, she's started running late-like really late. I text her when I leave my house, and
    via u/WildflowerWish71
  • 04
    sometimes I end up sitting outside for 10-15 minutes waiting. A few times she's even asked me to swing by a coffee shop or drop her off at a different entrance, which adds time.
    via u/WildflowerWish71
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10510159872
    via Andrew Poplavsky

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    We've both gotten written up for being late twice now.
    via u/WildflowerWish71
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10510159616
    via Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    I finally told her this week that I can't keep driving her if she's not ready on time. I said I like her and I don't want to fall out over something small, but I
    via u/WildflowerWish71

  • I see no mention of her friend chipping in for gas or anything… This friendship was totally one sided, and after getting her in trouble at work, our protagonist is better off cutting her loose. 

  • 09
    need to look out for myself and my job. She got really quiet and said she "didn't think it was that big a deal" and that I was being "kind of cold" over something that "was supposed to be a favor."
    via u/WildflowerWish71
  • 10
    Now she's barely talking to me at work, and a mutual friend told me she feels "ditched."
    via u/WildflowerWish71
  • 11
    I didn't mean to hurt her, but I feel like I was doing her a favor and she started treating it like a service. I'm not her Uber driver.
    via u/WildflowerWish71
  • 12
    So ― · AITA for cutting off the ride after she kept making me late?
    via u/WildflowerWish71

  • Her friend definitely started to take her for granted, treating her like a personal chauffeur service. 

  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10510159360
    via Visions

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    RandoCollision NTA. Tell her you're leaving at a certain time and if she's not in the car, send a quick text telling her you left. And go. Don't give her one minute to see if she's coming. Don't fall for the "turn on the porch light, so wait because I'm almost there" trick.
    via u/RandoCollision
  • 15
    She's a funny one to be upset with you for not wanting to be fired. Sounds like she doesn't need her job, so she really should have no issues with you protecting yours by leaving her in time to get there on time.
    via u/RandoCollision
  • 16
    WildflowerWish71 OP Yeah, it's wild to me that looking out for my job turned into me being the bad guy. I like the idea of just setting a firm time and leaving no more waiting, no hard feelings, just boundaries. Thanks for the advice!
    via u/WildflowerWish71
  • 17
    TheOpinion Share Don't do that. That would have been a good in- between step, but you've already told her you won't be giving her a ride any more. Given her entitled reaction, I wouldn't offer again.
    via u/TheOpinionShare
  • 18
    PirateQuest That's way too much effort for someone who has already gotten OP written up for being late. Op should go to work. Let Lena learn to be an adult on her own time.
    via u/PirateQuest
  • 19
    Perimentalpause Yeah, a favor TO HER. Not FROM her. And you're getting written up over it, so it does matter.
    via u/Perimentalpause
  • 20
    NTA. I doubt she's hurt. Just salty that her free ride is gone. I don't get this 'you're cold over a favor' thing. You retracted the favor when it started to negatively impact your means of making money.
    via u/Perimentalpause
  • 21
    So... yeah. She got along fine before you, she can figure it out without you. Sorry for her lot, but she had a really good thing going and she chose to ab e the favor you were doing.
    via u/Perimentalpause
  • 22
    WildflowerWish71 OP Yeah, that's what gets me it wasn't like I owed her anything, and I only stopped when it started messing with my job. I didn't want it to end like this, but she really did take advantage of a good thing.
    via u/WildflowerWish71
  • 23
    nrgins It's clear she doesn't have a handle on reality. Her statement that she didn't think it was a big deal to be late says a lot. And the fact that she takes your statement about not wanting to be late to preserve your career as you ditching her also indicates that she's a bit deluded.
    via u/nrgins
  • 24
    I would tell her that you'll continue to drive her but you're not going to wait for her. You'll be outside her house or apartment at such and such a time, and you'll honk your horn or text her that you're there, and then you will wait exactly 1 minute and if she's not out you will take off even if she begs you to wait just another minute or two. And then stick to that.
    via u/nrgins
  • 25
    This way, she has a chance to preserve getting a ride with you if she can get her act together. But you won't be putting yourself or your job at risk. Just wait one minute and then leave without saying anything without texting her without anything. And then she can just call an Uber or whatever to get her to work.
    via u/nrgins
  • 26
    Maybe that'll be the kick in the bot that she needs to get her to be ready on time. If not, then at least you'll get to work on time. NTA
    via u/nrgins
  • 27
    WildflowerWish71 OP That's actually a really fair suggestion kind of a middle ground. I just wasn't sure if it was worth trying again after she took it so personally, but maybe setting that kind of boundary would've been better than cutting it off completely. Appreciate the thoughtful take.
    via u/WildflowerWish71

Tags

terrible coworkers friendship workplace-stories adulting Professional At Work work coworkers friends relationships coworker bestie workplace entitled coworker girlboss entitled people
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